Ep 144: Stop Demanding What You Don't Deliver

Are you holding your spouse to a standard you refuse to meet yourself? It’s the fastest way to destroy trust, and it’s likely happening in your marriage right now.
In this episode, we aren't talking about "fixing" your partner—we’re talking about the hypocrisy that keeps you stuck in a cycle of blame, resentment, and emotional distance. If you demand grace for your mistakes but hold a magnifying glass to your spouse’s flaws, you are surrendering your power to your ego.
Certified Marriage Coach, Kameran Thompson Alareqi, breaks down the neuroscience behind why your brain protects your ego with blame, and why you’re actually looking for connection in all the wrong ways. If you are ready to stop being the "judge" and start being the "teammate," this episode gives you the audit tools and the exact scripts to dismantle your hypocrisy and take radical accountability.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• The Hypocrisy Trap: Why the gap between what you demand and what you deliver is dismantling your connection.
• The "Defensive" vs. "Explaining" Mistake: Why you judge your partner’s actions but demand they judge your intentions.
• The Forgiveness Double Standard: Why you feel entitled to immediate grace while your partner is expected to earn their way back into your good graces.
• The Neuroscience of Ego: How your amygdala "hijacks" your brain and shuts off the empathy you need to be a healthy spouse.
• Radical Accountability: The "My Part" challenge that forces you to clean up your side of the street, regardless of what your partner is doing.

Key Highlights & Timestamps

• **** Identifying the discrepancy: Why you are holding your partner to standards you don't meet.
• **** Why "I only yelled because you pushed my buttons" is a toxic lie.
• **** The Forgiveness Double Standard: Why your apologies are "Sorry" but your partner's need to be five-step plans.
• **** Cognitive Dissonance: How your brain justifies your bad behavior to keep you feeling like the "good" spouse.
• **** The Audit Exercise: A step-by-step method to compare your complaints against your own behaviors.
• **** The exact script for admitting hypocrisy to your spouse without triggering a new fight.

Stop Struggling and Start Thriving

Marriage doesn't change because you want it to; it changes because you practice new strategies. Don't wait until the 11th hour to get the help that could save your relationship.

Are you ready to stop the hypocrisy and learn how to actually regulate your own nervous system?

Kameran has open coaching positions for those who are ready to do the real, hard work of relational mastery.

• 📧 Email: coaching@recognizingpotential.com
• 🔗 Book Your Consultation

Resources Mentioned

• Episode 140 with Dr. Andrea Vitz: Maturity and Relational Psychology.
• Join our community on Skool for monthly workshops on changing your marriage by yourself.

Verafied Ad: Register Your Relationship 

If this episode hit home, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it. It’s time to stop the finger-pointing and start building the marriage you actually want.

#MarriageAdvice #EmotionalSobriety #RelationshipGrowth #MarriageCoach #StopTheBlame #Accountability #KameranAlareqi #MarriedAndConnected

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We've all seen it. The messy social media messages, the public tea spilling, and the absolute embarrassment of finding out that your life is a lie through a Facebook post or an Instagram message that your spouse thought was hidden. What if it didn't have to be like that though? What if you could find out before their affair got too deep? Statistics show that over 20% of marriages deal with infidelity. And most affairs last for years because they thrive in the dark. It's time to turn the lights on. Verified.com is the world's first searchable relationship registry. It's not just an app, it's a digital boundary for your marriage. When you register your spouse on verified, you are claiming your relationship on a global scale, whether you're talking, you're dating, or you're married. If another man or woman is being told your spouse is single or divorced and they search for your spouse on the registry, they find you instead. Now here's the game changer. Verified allows you to speak one-on-one and directly with that other person. No gaslighting from your spouse. No, he said, she said, no, oh my God, you went through my phone. How could you betray my trust like that? And zero social media drama. Just the truth, person to person, before things go too far. Don't wait for that gut feeling to become a nightmare. Because even if you think your spouse would never, there's an even better chance that you just never know. Register your spouse today using the link in the show notes and lock in your legacy to protect your peace. Marriage isn't supposed to feel like roommates, but it doesn't have to feel like a war either. Hi, I'm Cameron Alricki, certified marriage coach and a relationship expert. Every week on Married and Connected, I bring you real talk, hard truths, and practical tools you can start using right away. Whether you've been married two years or 42, this is where you'll find hope, encouragement, and steps that actually work. So let's make your marriage feel good again, starting right now. Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of the Married and Connected Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of the Married and Connected podcast. I'm your host, Cameron Allericki, and today we're gonna be deep diving into a topic that's probably gonna be pretty uncomfortable. And that is one of the reasons that I'm doing this episode, because as a marriage coach, I am seeing hypocrisy in almost every struggling couple that comes to me. And in order to get rid of it, in order to have a thriving marriage, it is absolutely vital to address the hypocrisy in the relationship if you want to survive and thrive and continue moving forward in your marriage. This is a pattern that is a silent killer of intimacy for sure. It destroys trust, it breeds resentment, and it is something that traps you in that endless cycle of blame and finger pointing. If we want our marriages to heal and move forward, the finger pointing has to stop. And the only way that we are going to be able to do that is if we take radical accountability and look in the mirror. Your marriage is a mirror to you. So we're gonna be talking about what hypocrisy actually looks like and sounds like, where it comes from from a psychological and neurological level. And most importantly, how we completely dismantle it and get rid of that mindset that even causes it in the first place. Today's episode is not gonna be surface level. Not that many of my episodes are, but let's go ahead and get into it. At its core, hypocrisy in marriage is a discrepancy between what you demand and what you deliver. Now, again, remember we're just talking about you here. We're not talking about your partner because we're not gonna be finger pointing, right? And if you have an anxious attachment, it's gonna be really easy for you to listen to this episode and think, oh, yep, they do that. They do that. That's for them. I want you to try as hard as you possibly can to turn that back around on you and think, okay, how am I doing this? How is what she is saying applying to me? So hypocrisy is the act of holding your partner to a standard. And we're talking behaviorally in their communication, their emotional regulation, anything that you consistently fail to meet yourself. And this is where that dangerous gap lies between our intentions and our behaviors. I talk a lot about when you have an intention and you say, Well, I didn't mean to, or this was my intention, but the impact doesn't land well. This is another one of those examples. So we're judging our spouses by their actions and the impact that those actions had on us, but we're demanding that they judge us by our intentions. Do you see how backwards that sounds? So you have to treat me well, but if what I said didn't land well, then you have to judge me based on my intention. Now, if you're in an emotionally sober state, there shouldn't be any judgment happening, anyways. But when you are in a marriage, that is bound to happen occasionally, especially if you haven't gone through the emotional sobriety program. So what does it sound like? Well, when you're shouting and you have your arms crossed and you say something like, God, you're always so defensive, you are also being defensive right now. Now, this is another thing that happens in couples that I want to address really quickly is that there's a lot of times where someone will say, They're just defensive, or they just got so defensive. Defensiveness is protecting your ego. Explanations are when you're giving context. They might sound the same, but it's again one of those things like criticism and complaining. If you're looking at that, you have to really pay attention to the words that they're using and not the filters that you're using. So, what are the words that they're using? When they're filling in the gap of the information that they have that you don't have, then they're giving context, they're explaining. If they're getting defensive, they're trying to protect themselves. If they say things like, you never let anything go, but they're also bringing up mistakes that you've made in the past, or I only yelled because you pushed my buttons. This one is really, this one is a big trigger. And it leads to a lot of fights because a lot of times when you're saying, like, I was working with a couple earlier this week, and um, she has stepped out of the marriage and she has cheated, and she flat out told her husband, Well, I only cheated because you were emotionally neglectful. No, no, no, let's not get that twisted, ma'am. You cheated because of your own stuff. You didn't cheat because of anything he did or did not do. He didn't twist your arm and remove your pants and push you into bed with that man. So when you're saying, Well, I only did this because you did that, the translation there is that my emotional dysregulation is your fault, but your emotional dysregulation is a character flaw. So when you're getting mad at your partner for yelling, but then they can't get mad at you because you slammed a door, it's the same thing. You're saying the same thing. Okay, so here's some common scenarios in marriage that I see. The emotional regulation gap is a really big one. When you are stressed out, you're expecting your partner to give you grace for being snappy or not getting enough sleep or being distant or being irritable. But you view your anger as justified venting. But when your partner has a bad day and snaps, then they're automatically narcissistic and toxic and abusive and mean. Does that make sense? And this is why I said that this is going to be triggering because a lot of you, when you're listening to this, and and this was really, really big for me too. I didn't think that I was hypocritical at all. But if you go back and you listen to the episode with Dr. Andrea Vitz just a few episodes back, episode 140, I believe it is. She talks about in there when I was working with her, and she would say that me and Mo would come to her and we would both be saying the same things. We were hypocritical, both of us. It's kind of like buying a car. So you go to, let's say, buy a Jeep, and nobody has a Jeep Grand Cherokee. But then you buy a Jeep Grand Cherokee and that's all you see. It's the same thing here. Now that you're learning about these topics, I guarantee what's going to happen is that you're going to be able to start noticing hypocrisy in your own marriage and with everybody else so much quicker. And that's what growth is all about. That's why I do this podcast, that's why I coach is to help people grow and understand and quote unquote get it quicker. Okay. Here's another scenario that I see quite a bit. The forgiveness double standard. Whoo, baby, this is a this is a big one. So you expect immediate forgiveness and grace when you make a mistake. When you drop the ball, when you hurt your partner's feelings. But when they make a mistake, you are so quick to dole out the silent treatment and require them to earn their way back into your good graces. It's where you expect immediate forgiveness when you mess up. You expect your partner to give you grace. You're allowed to make mistakes. You're human. You can drop the ball, you can hurt your partner's feelings. Of course you didn't mean to, but it still happens. So you expect them to forgive you quickly and to offer you grace. But if they mess up, now they're human as well, but they're not allowed to make a mistake. They're not allowed to hurt your feelings. Because if they do, then you are so quick to give them the silent treatment or criticize or lay into them or require them to earn their way back into your good graces. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? And this is what it sounds like. I hear this so frequently. The apology that's given, you expect them to give you a five-finger apology. I'm so sorry for what I did. This is how it impacted you, and I know that. This is how I'm gonna change that behavior moving forward. Will you forgive me? So that's what you're expecting. But for you, I've heard this so frequently. Your apology sounds like, what? I said I was sorry. How long are you gonna give me the silent treatment? What? I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me? Or you just say, sorry. Oh, sorry about that. My bad. That's your apology. Do you see the difference there? Another one that I don't see as often, but it is still there, is you criticize your partner for spending money on a hobby, but you justify your impulse purchases as like self-care or must-haves, or well, it's for the home. So we're looking at maybe new golf clubs are $500 or whatever. I have no idea what golf clubs cost, but your your partner is spending this amount of money. And because it comes out in one chunk, you're looking at that being like, what the heck? But you don't add up what your Hallmark movie subscription costs and the Amazon purchases that you've made that aren't for the kids, and the extra clothes that you bought this month, and the shoes because the season's changing and all of that. If you add that up, most likely it's going to be the same or more than what your partner spent. So are we seeing the hypocrisy here? Are we seeing some of the examples? You know, just by giving that, are you seeing some of those examples in your marriage? Now let's talk about where hypocrisy even comes from. Because nobody walks down the aisle on their wedding day planning to be a hypocrite, planning to get a divorce. All right. And here's the thing: hypocrisy is not a sign that you're a bad person, it is a sign that your brain is prioritizing your ego over your relational connection. The neuroscience of the threat response is that when your spouse points out a flaw or a mistake that you have, now you're going into your emotion brain, the amygdala. You're out of your prefrontal cortex that makes all of your decisions and is logical and all the things, you're going into your amygdala. And that is your primitive threat detection center. It's going to interpret that emotional critique as a literal physical threat. When the amygdala hijacks your brain, it shuts off your prefrontal cortex. So you have no empathy, you have no logic, you have no self-awareness. That's a big one, the self-awareness piece. You can't be self-reflective if your brain thinks that you're being attacked by a tiger. So the hypocrisy is the fight or flight response. So you project the blame outward to protect yourself from the pain of your own shame. And this is where emotional sobriety is so freaking important because that's what it teaches you to do. Emotional sobriety as a whole teaches you to look at the self-beliefs that were trauma-induced as a child, your filters, your feelings, and your emotions. No, they are not the same. I've explained this multiple times, but if you are nuke here, feelings are the sensations in your body that you feel when you have a chemical overdose of an emotion. The hypocrisy there is that you are trying to protect yourself instead of staying in your prefrontal cortex, listening to your partner. Because here's the thing, you guys, your partner knows you better than anybody else on the planet. They see things you don't see, they know things you don't know, they have seen you naked, they have slept next to you when you are in your most vulnerable state. Your partner knows things that you don't know and that you don't see. When we're looking at our partner as an enemy that is attacking us, versus, oh, they might have a perspective that matters here. That's when we start to protect ourselves. Here's another reason it happens is cognitive dissonance. In psychology, cognitive dissonance is where your mental discomfort is experienced by someone who holds two conflicting beliefs. So for example, I am a good loving spouse, and I just said something incredibly cruel. So to resolve this psychological pain, your brain takes a shortcut and it shifts to blame. The brain says, no, no, no, I'm a good spouse. So I must have had a really good reason to say that horrible thing to my partner. And they forced me to do it, in fact. It's no different. So the cognitive dissonance is what's happening with my client who cheated on her husband and is it and is saying, What? I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me? Does it make it okay? Absolutely not. But again, if they feel like their partner is attacking them, then their emotional brain, their amygdala, is making all the choices here and is running their response team versus the prefrontal cortex and the cognitive dissonance is saying, oh no, I'm I believe that I am a good person, and good people don't cheat on their spouses, so my partner must have made me do it. Now, here's another reason that this happens. Okay, so all of this is happening in like a lickety split time. The fundamental attribution error here is a famous psychological principle, and it states that when we evaluate others, we attribute their mistakes to their character, i.e., he forgot to take out the trash because he is lazy. He forgot to text me, therefore he doesn't care. He's not as emotionally attuned as I would like, therefore, he doesn't value me as a partner. But when we evaluate ourselves, we attribute our mistakes to our circumstances. I forgot to take out the trash because I'm overwhelmed with work. I forgot to text because I had very little time to run from one thing to another. You see the difference here? The error in all of that is the breeding ground for the marital hypocrisy. But again, when we are not self-aware, we are not able to see the fundamental attribution error that we are applying. We are not able to see the difference in the cognitive dissonance and say, you know what? I'm letting my ego run the show here. I'm still a good person, and I said this horrible thing that I need to apologize for, and figure out where that horrible thing even came from in the first place and why I would say that to the person that I supposedly love more than anything on the face of this planet. And where's the threat response? Where is the flaw or mistake that my partner is seeing that I also need to not get emotional about and instead take accountability for? So here's what Dr. Vitz says about the paradigm of emotional sobriety. This is why I've had her on the show so many times, because she is an absolute powerhouse in the realm of relational psychology. And she coined the phrase emotional sobriety. Dr. Vitz teaches that hypocrisy is a symptom of an emotionally drunk or dysregulated nervous system. When couple, and this is the part that people are not looking at. People are not looking at the fact that like fighting and arguing is not just your brain saying things. Your nervous system, we are walking around, as I'm, especially as Americans, we are walking around with hijacked nervous systems all the time. I have, I worked with Dr. Vitz for over a year to become emotionally sober. And I'm still working on my nervous system. That is how hard it is to get your vagus nerve back online. And I'll just throw myself under the bus here. I think there's a lot of people like myself that our nervous system has been jacked up since childhood and we're still trying to fix something that's been messed up for our entire life. That is difficult and it is not an overnight process. Now, does that mean that your marriage can't be fixed or that you can't become an emotionally sober person in a much, much less time? Absolutely not. You can become emotionally sober in four to six months, but but your nervous system is still going to require some work, even after you're done there. And this is the thing is that when couples fight, a lot of times they're hiding behind this idea of being an adult. But as Dr. Vitz has pointed out, age does not promise maturity. Maturity is a strategy, and it is being built through qualities that have to be practiced rep by rep by rep until they become part of your nature. That takes time. And this is the thing that when you are acting hypocritically, you are utilizing ineffective strategies. Therefore, you are being immature. You are in what Dr. V calls emotional chaos. You're relying on your partner to regulate your nervous system instead of doing it yourself. And maybe that's because you don't know how to do it. Maybe that's because it's really, really hard. Maybe that's because you're not that motivated. I'm not sure. That's something that we would have to work together to figure out, or you would have to do some self-reflection to figure out. But Dr. Vitz challenges individuals to look for the suck in themselves. This is what she talked about in the maturity podcast on episode 140, is that you have to empower yourself to wake up every single morning and say, okay, where do I suck today? And as long as you're convinced that your spouse is the sole problem, you have completely stripped yourself of all your power. I see this pretty frequently too. I just did a masterclass not too long ago on changing your marriage by yourself. And a lot of these people that are coming into that masterclass and that that are coming to me and saying, I want change, but my partner doesn't. Yep, because your partner has stripped themselves of all ability to have any power in that relationship because they've blamed you for everything. Emotional sobriety in a marriage means that you are taking complete accountability of everything that you need to take accountability. Your emotional state, your reactions, your words, your initial behavior, everything. Your feelings, your emotions, your self-beliefs, your filters. You see your partner as a separate individual who is also doing those things, hopefully. You're not projecting your needs onto them. When you become emotionally sober, the emotional neediness that you have is so much less. So to stop being hypocritical, you have to undergo a complete and total mindset shift. You have to move from I am a victim, but I'm also a judge mindset to an no, I am an owner and a teammate. First thing you have to do, this has kind of been the pattern of a lot of different podcasts with Thomas Eberts, with Dr. Witz, with a lot of other people, you have to kill the ego. You have to understand that admitting you are wrong is not a weakness. When we were little and we were, and I blame public school for a lot of this. Anytime we got the answer wrong, we were publicly humiliated in front of our clients. Classmates. So we learned that being wrong is not only weak, it also brings shame and guilt and it feels like crap. But as an adult, now we're being told, no, being wrong is being human. It means you make mistakes. But rewiring that when we've had such horribly traumatic experiences in public school with it, this is the ultimate power move for you. It's also the most difficult. A weak person deflects blame. A strong, emotionally sober person says, you know what? You're right. I messed up. That's on me. I held you to a standard that I was not meeting. And here's how I'm gonna fix it. And you do. Changed behavior is the apology. You also stop waiting for fairness. At no point anywhere in the Bible does it say that marriage is fair. I don't know where that concept came from. It's very childish. My five-year-old often will say, that's not fair. And we have to have conversations about the fact that no, fair is not the same as equal. Fair is what you need in order to be successful. Equal is everybody gets the same thing. And that's where that hypocrisy comes from in marriage. It's that tit for tat mindset. Well, I'll stop yelling when they start listening. It is a race to the bottom. Someone has to be the first to drop their weapons and remember this is not my enemy. This is my partner who I chose. This is the only family member that I have gotten to choose in my entire life. Didn't get to choose my parents, didn't get to choose my siblings, didn't get to choose extended family, didn't get to choose my kids. But I did choose my partner. So why am I treating them like an enemy instead of a best friend? Decide that you are going to act with integrity, regardless of whether your partner is doing it perfectly in that exact moment. It doesn't matter. That's what I was teaching in the workshop for changing your marriage by yourself, which by the way, you can find the replay in my school community under monthly workshops. It doesn't matter what your partner's doing or not doing, it only matters what you're doing because you can't control them. You are only responsible for you. The third part of this is to embrace the my part challenge. So you are going to change your default inner monologue. When you and your partner have any kind of conflict, number one, there can't be any kind of conflict at all without both parties having a part in it. Now, one person's might be 80 and the other person's might be 20. It might be 50-50. But at some point, everybody has a part in it. So when that happens, before you are allowed to look at what your partner did wrong, you have to ask yourself, what was my part in this? Where does my side of the street need cleaned up? Even if it's only 1%, what is my 1%? I can confidently say that nearly every marriage that I have worked with, hypocrisy has been in play at some point in the marriage. And if you are ready to take accountability, here is how you practically eradicate that hypocrisy from your behavior. First, you're gonna sit down and audit your demands. Make a list on pen and paper of the top three things that you complain about regarding your partner. Is it their communication? Is it the mental load that you hold that they don't? Is it the household effort? Is it their tone of voice? Is it their anger issues? Is it their lack of presence with the kids or with you? Is it their emotional unavailability? What is it? Now relentlessly and objectively audit yourself against that exact list. Kill the ego. Well, no, I'm not emotionally unavailable, are you? Because if they're unemotionally unavailable, do you ever, ever have the motive to give them a dose of their own medicine? Do you ever have the motive that, well, if they're gonna be emotionally unavailable, then I'm gonna be emotionally unavailable. Even worse, if they're unemotionally unavailable towards you, are you emotionally unavailable towards yourself because you haven't set a boundary or changed the behavior or left? Are you consistently modeling the behavior that you are demanding? Next, you're gonna practice the pause. Because hypocrisy lives in your amygdala and it causes knee-jerk reactions, you have to create a gap between the trigger and your response because you cannot control your partner, but you can control yourself. So when you feel the urge, and by the way, not to throw anxious attachers under the bus, but a lot of times when you're blaming, shaming, criticizing, questioning, all of that, you're looking for connection. You're doing that as a way to connect with your partner instead of just saying, hey, I feel really disconnected from you. Can we have 20 minutes to talk before we turn on Netflix tonight? So when you feel the urge to let your ego get in the driver's seat and you blame and you criticize, close your mouth. Take a deep breath, let your prefrontal cortex come back online before you speak. Now, typically, this is gonna take about 90 minutes. It should only take 90 seconds because our bodies as human beings only recognize an emotion for 90 seconds. If it lasts longer than that, it's because of rumination. You're thinking, oh, I should have said this, oh, I should have done that, oh man, if he just, oh, he did that, why would he do that to me? Things like that. So take a deep breath, stop thinking about it, and let your prefrontal cortex come back online so that you can actually be more logical. Another tip is gonna be to use the mirror technique in conflict. Whenever you're about to use the word you, change it to I. So instead of saying, you are stressing me out, say, I'm feeling incredibly stressed out. I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed right now and I'm having a hard time self-regulating. Can you just hold me? Can we just stop talking and breathe together? Can we take a break where I'll go run or I'll go take a walk or what have you. Walking is fantastic as a self-regulating technique because when you go outside and your pace is really fast, you're upset, you're upset. You're amped up, your emotions are heightened. When you notice that your pace has slowed down, that's when you're regulated enough to go back inside. Now, the other caveat to this is that whoever asks for the break, whoever asks for the timeout, has to give a timeline. I always say not more than 24 hours because if it's more than 24 hours, you're just choosing to be upset. You're choosing to hold that resentment and you're choosing to have a motive of punishment or making them see something, teaching them a lesson, et cetera. So instead, give the timeline of an hour, two hours, something like that. And then if you were the one that asked for the break, you're the one that needs to come back and say, Are you in the headspace to do this? Are you in the headspace to take to talk again? And then the last idea that I have for you is to apologize for the hypocrisy specifically. So you go to your spouse to say, Hey, are you in the hot are you in a headspace to talk about the hypocrisy that I realize that I have? Don't just say to talk about hypocrisy, because then they're going to feel attacked again. So, and if they say yes, then you say, I realize today that I've been expecting you to always speak calmly to me, but I've been snapping at you when I'm tired. It's a double standard. It's unfair to you. You don't deserve that. And so I'm going to work on my own emotional composure. Now, here's the thing, friends. As you know, because I do these podcast episodes every single week, marriages don't heal by magic. They heal by practice, rep by rep by rep. They heal when two people decide to put down the magnifying glass that they use on their partner and pick up the mirror to look at themselves. If you want to make a better marriage, you have to start with yourself. You have to take accountability, practice emotional sobriety, and trade your ineffective strategies for relational mastery, for strategies that actually work. Now, most couples wait an average of six years before they get help. By the time that six years is up and you come to me, you're at the 11th hour and hours away from signing a divorce paper. Instead, get help early on. It's a lot easier for you and your nervous system that we've talked about so much in this episode to prevent things, to become qualified in a relationship than it is to try to fix a problem that's been brewing and stewing for years. So, that being said, if you are in the market for coaching, if you've listened to this episode and said, Yep, that's me, that's us. We have a ton of hypocrisy. We need to fix this. I do have open coaching positions right now. Email me at coaching at recognizingpotential.com. You can click the link in the show notes for a consultation and we can go from there.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Until next week, stay married and connected. I want to ask you a serious question.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

What are you feeding your mind right now? If it's social media, are you tired of doom scrolling through the angry comment sections and political rants yet? What if you use that time to actually fix your marriage? Welcome to the free married and connected school community. It's like social media, but without the ads, without the judgment, and without the noise. Just real self-paced tools that get you out of that roommate phase starting today. Inside, you get an exact blueprint for a weekly State of the Union meeting with your spouse. We're cutting mental load, we're stopping miscommunications, and we're breaking that exhausting loop of doom argument once and for all. Plus, you get instant access to workshops on overcoming resentment and bringing the actual fun back into your marriage. We have a dedicated space just for guys jumping into Forging Fortitude. It's a 10-week intensive to help you step into your masculine leadership and become the husband and man that God called you to be. And for ladies joining Edifying Eden, we're stepping out of that controlling, nagging era into our soft, nurturing feminine era. Even if your husband hasn't taken the reins yet. Either way, you can take responsibility for your side of the street. Stop scrolling the internet and start investing in your home. The community is 100% free with options to purchase certain courses. Click the link in the show notes and join the Married and Connected school community today. I'll see you inside. This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional counseling or therapy. Every couple story is unique, so take what's helpful and leave the rest. By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that neither I, Cameron Thompson Alaricki, Married and Connected, or Recognizing Potential Coaching are responsible for any outcomes related to what you apply from this show. Especially if you are not a client of mine.